Fridays

Well...these are supposed to be the days that I do research and writing and other paperwork, and generally get caught up. Though I did pretty well keeping up during the campaign, there are three kinda big things that are still awaiting final rulings. I've been working on them steadily but since I have to listen to the recordings of all proceedings in each case, it's slow work. To boot, this truly is the first Friday I've had in the office since the election - though some of that admittedly is because of time off I've taken. At any rate! I've gotten some done today but it's frustrating - had a meeting I had to go to downstairs from 11-12:30, a wedding here in a minute, and another meeting out at United Summit Center at 2:00. All these things are worthwhile and important - no problem there - but with this many commitments on what should be an uninterrupted day, it makes it hard to focus on any one task for too long. I did get some done this a.m. before my first meeting and right now, I'm jotting this down during the ten minutes I've set aside to wolf down the lunch I brought. My own new "Haitian Chicken" recipe - not too bad!

An interesting development for me - many of you have told me you've been reading my blog. That's a surprise and not one at the same time. I know that putting stuff on the internet makes it very, very public and that it's out there for "all to see." I also expected that my opponent in the election and/or her people would be reading but the first time that was confirmed for sure - by a rather in-depth discussion with one of her supporters - it sure was a creepy feeling. But I am the one who chose to blog and I'm not sorry about it. I've kinda put it all there for anyone to see me, warts and all, and if they don't like it I'm sorry but there's not a whole lot I can do.

Some of you have told me that you tried to get in but you were blocked out - sorry about that. I closed access for a short period of time to review what I'd written, to correct some misspellings, etc., and inadvertently left it closed for longer than I'd intended. So we're back "online" now.

My wife and youngest are out of town, at a Christian music festival in Pa., and will be back Sun. That leaves me and my #3 son and my daughter at home - we're all going to a wedding in Huntington tomorrow. I'm not that fond of weddings normally but these are two old Camp kids so it should be fun. Speaking of weddings - my #1 son's third anniversary was this past Tues. and my #2 son's third anniversary is next Tuesday. :) :)

Still lots of thoughts percolating about the future...got to get to the wedding, then back to work for a bit before I take off for Summit Center. Bye for now.

My Last Family Court Conference?

It's been a while since I blogged - a busy time. Spent last week at Camp Cowen with 200 Sr. High aged kids and a bunch of other counselors. My 29th year in a row counseling that camp! God's been good to allow me to go every year and I'm hoping to continue at least till 2015 - that's when my youngest boy will graduate from high school. Maybe longer!

I'm in Charleston right now and am attending our annual Spring Family Court Conference (even though it's summer). This is one of the things I'll miss - frankly, it's fun being with my colleagues. Over the years I've gotten quite close with some of them. Plus, since there are only 35 of us and we have uniquely stressful jobs, we have an affinity - even those of us who might not have much in common otherwise.

I'll be back at Camp a week in July, with my youngest, but before then I'll be attending a two-day abuse-and-neglect conference in Morgantown. I'm also attending the mediation training in Morgantown in August. Preparing for the future...still focusing on doing my own thing job-wise as of the first of the year but in a very controlled way.

The thought of starting a non-profit with focus on youth law issues has crossed my mind. One of our current Family Court Judges started the only such program in West Virginia a few years ago and it's still going strong, in the far southern part of the State. There would be advantages to that format over a private practice, for sure, but also it would be more limiting - will have to think on that one.

It's good to be here in Charleston among friendly folks - and those with whom I can toss around ideas. Also got to have dinner last evening, and to spend several hours, with some of my law school friends who also had some helpful thoughts and suggestions. At least, I feel like I have steady relationships with people who not only care about me but who also are good sources of information.

Tomorrow is six weeks from the election and it feels like a lot longer. I still have six months plus on the bench but I know it will go by quickly. Time is a funny thing -

Home and it's HOT

Home again from Florida - and the heat wave that's hitting the East Coast is here. Oh, did I mention our air conditioning is out? Ah well -

Left Florida yesterday morning and drove (with several stops and not-very-efficient ones to boot) to Beckley - that took until 2 am this morning! But we had a good night's sleep in a nice place and left about 12:30 for Camp Cowen, where we had an enjoyable afternoon visiting friends and most importantly, celebrating the dedication of the wonderful new dining hall there designed by none other than my oldest son, Christopher. Cowen's my favorite place in the world, I was in my element.

Of course, many friends from around the State knew about the election and told me how sorry they are, etc. Me too of course - but I'm more and more getting to the point of thinking more precisely about the future. No great revelations yet -
you'll be the first to know!

I Got Pecked in the Eye by a Bird

The title says it all!

We're in Florida - it's been a great trip, therapy for me for sure. We've enjoyed a great riverfront house with a canoe, manatee right outside our door (sometimes), visiting family, swimming, great weather, and more. We have to leave tomorrow morning but we're stopping at the Orange Shop in Citra on the way out of Florida - that's a special memory for my three oldest boys so now my youngest two will get to join in on the fun of that -- it's just a little shop by the side of the road with amazing fresh-squeezed orange juice and all the Florida trinkets you could think of.

Talked to my secretary and case coordinator today and learned that the rains in our part of West Virginia have been torrential - so doubly glad not to have been home this week!

Back to the title - we were visiting my sister-in-law in Orlando last night and she, to say the least, is a bird person. One of her "teenage" black chickens (not still a chick but not fully grown) was sitting on my shoulder and decided to reach around and peck me in the left eye. That was more than 24 hours ago and yes, it's still somewhat painful but basically OK. The eye is an amazing thing - it heals rather quickly. I've been able to drive, haven't had to take my contact out, etc., so despite some discomfort it seems to be all right.

Heading for West Virginia, but not home, tomorrow. We'll stay in southern W.Va. Friday night and then on Saturday, the dedication of our new Dining Hall at our beloved Camp Cowen is the big event - featuring the principal architect who once again is my son. Yes I'm a proud papa - and I invite you to check it out by going to www.wvbc.org, click on Camp Cowen, click on Dining Hall and you'll see why. I'm counseling at Sr. High Camp starting June 15 (I've done this camp every year since 1981) and can't wait to be part of a camp using the new Alice Randall -

Will sign off for now. A busy week awaits when I get home - hearings, still trying to catch up on paperwork, and thinking, praying, considering more about the future. I've had lots of thoughts this week but won't share them here just yet...to be continued...

Leaving for Florida Tomorrow

Well, now it has been two weeks, and two days. The world is beginning to seem a little brighter - thankfully. Hope this lasts, especially when the days begin winding down toward the end of the term later this year!

We're leaving for Florida tomorrow, in fact about 3:00 p.m. We've rented a neat little riverfront house in Weeki Wachee, Florida, which is fairly close to several relatives. We'll be seeing my father-in-law, my sister-in-law, and a favorite aunt and uncle to my kids. My whole crew will be there - all five of my kids, my two daughters-in-law, and of course my wife and me. We'll miss our dog and my oldest son's two dogs who often travel with us. The dogs loved the beach last summer.

Last Friday, we had our "Quarterly North Central Regional Judicial Summit" which is dinner with a few of us judges from this part of the State. This time we were in Philippi, hosted by Judge Longo, and the whole crowd was present - Judges Culpepper, Born, Fantasia, Longo, and Crislip (me), with several spouses also in attendance. After dinner, we walked up the street to Judge Longo's office and she showed it off. I'd been there several times but none of the others had. We also walked past a really neat old house which had been converted into a bed & breakfast and got a tour from the owners - it was some house. For anyone who knows my wife, that was the highlight of her evening.

Feelings of hopefulness probably come from several sources. Prayer and God's responsive intervention. The support of family and friends. The diversion of work and other activities. Planning for our trip. Looking forward to summer. And, some specific strategies, at least thought strategies. I decided over the weekend, and told my wife, that I had to focus on something I had control over, or at least that I perceive I have control over. Since my focus has been, "What next?," the only job path I have reasonable control over at this time is making a plan to do my own thing, hang out a shingle, which I have said repeatedly I do not want to do. But - it's occurred to me that I might be able to do it in a very controlled way and I even have an idea for something almost unique that might be successful both in terms of income and real help to the public and the court system. I need to run it by a few people to see what they think -

I'm aware of many other potential options, of course. But all of those would require me to be hired by an employer as opposed to "hiring myself." I'm not opposed to a job where I'd be hired and where I'd get a paycheck, a paycheck, a paycheck, with benefits, etc. We'll see what God lays before me, though.

We're not out of the woods yet. I'm getting more and more used to the idea. My staff and I are trying to get back to normal and actually, this week, at least to me, it's beginning to feel normal again being here, doing the work, interacting with my staff, the lawyers, the litigants. I'm going to try hard and focus on doing my job well, serving the public well, making sure my staff is happy, and not leaving this place in a shambles for my two successors. That's the least I can do for the people of Harrison County. Many of whom, by the way, voted for me :)

A Week Later

OK, now it's been a week and two days. It's been somewhat of a bumpy ride. For some reason, sleep has been an issue starting with Monday night of this week - got only 1-1/2 hours that night. Night before last was somewhat better - about a total of 3 hours. Last night I slept about 4 hours, then was awake for an hour or so, then slept pretty well the rest of the night until just before 6:30 a.m.

There have been so many thoughts go through my brain. Lots of people - including people in positions of authority and who are politically savvy - have told me they are shocked that my opponent won. As I may have said, while not shocked, I was surprised -- and I think it's fair to say part of my grief reaction has been what properly could be called "shock." I'm a little numb right now.

There've been light moments for sure. We're trying to "make lemonade" with these lemons that life has handed us. All of us -- my family and I, my staff and I, other friends and I -- have even been able to joke about it a bit. I think it's all pretty healthy -

I called my opponent's office on Monday morning and left a message of congratulations. She called me back about 1/2 hour later to acknowledge my call, and I repeated my congratulations and offered any assistance I could in the transition at the end of this year. She said thank you. The conversation was courteous and short. That was a tough call for me but I know it was the right thing to do.

I love the Family Court and while I am not happy with the thought of leaving my job at the end of this year, I certainly want to do all I can to make the transition as easy a process as possible. I want the Family Court not only to continue as it has but to continue growing in service to the people of this area.

Back to my insomnia - although it started Monday night, I never felt tired until about 7:30 last evening and then I just about dropped. Today, I am tired and am looking forward to going home and resting this evening. And balancing my checkbook, catching up on my tithe, and whatever else I can find as far as those routine responsibilities go.

I've had a busy week of hearings. Tomorrow I have to speak at a career day and read at my son's school. It'll be my last time reading to his class - I've done that almost every month since he's been in grade school. So another part of my life coming to a close - sad, but at the same time neat to see him and his friends growing up -

It's a transition time for all of us.

Results

Well...it's now Thursday, May 15, and I lost the election. 48 hours ago at this time, before the polls closed, I still expected to win. Now, I always, always said AND MEANT that I considered my opponent to be tough and I acknowledged that she could win and I would not be shocked if she did, so I'm not shocked. However, I maintained cautious optimism and really thought I would win in a close election. So let's just say unpleasantly surprised...

This is a grieving process to be sure. It seems so odd. I still have a job till the end of the year, or for about 7 more months. But then...I don't know.

I have absolutely loved this job. It doesn't mean that it hasn't had its days! But I was so thrilled to be appointed in 1995, and then when the position changed to Family Court Judge and elected, I was so pleased no one ran against me the first time.

In late November - two days after my birthday - when it first seemed like I was going to have competition - that was a difficult time. I had trouble sleeping, but got it under control, and then there was Christmas and its busyness, and then there was the wait till Jan. 14, the first day candidates officially could register. Frankly, I was hoping and praying that no one would register against me, but when that prayer was answered "no," we went into high gear.

I found out today what my opponent is said to have spent over on the campaign. I spent about $20,000.00 and frankly, would not have spent more than that. Her expenditures were significantly higher. My loss is not all about the money - another candidate for another position well outspent his incumbent opponent and the incumbent won that race handily. But no doubt, it had an impact.

Everyone tells me that the Family Court position is a tough one to be re-elected to because of the unhappiness that at least 50% of the people have with the process when they leave the Court. Of course, most of the time that means disagreement with my rulings, which often are dictated by the law without my opportunity to exercise much discretion. I don't mean to whine or sound like I'm "justifying" anything - but just to state the fact. The flip side of that is, when people are happy with me, it's often my application of the law in the same way, without much discretion. But, people tend to act on things they are unhappy about, not things they're pleased with.

I have so much I could say, so much I have thought and am thinking. But, many of these things are better left unsaid and will remain that way.

I hope this doesn't sound bitter. I'm not bitter. What I am, again, is grieving. And I need to grieve. I'm losing something that's been very precious to me - a job I love, and one where I've had an opportunity to help families. A staff that has been like family to me. And working in the Harrison County Court House, where I dreamed of working as a boy. I'm going to cherish the next seven months and yes, I am looking forward to seeing what door God will open for me for the next chaper of my life.

I'm worried about providing for my family, finding a job I like, benefits, the works. Will we have to move? How will that affect my youngest son, who will start middle school this fall? What about my wife's counseling practice? In my life, I've never been fond of change, but it's something that comes whether we like it or not. And of course, in hindsight, I can see many times when I've perceived occurrences in my life as "bad" which turned out to be very good. God works that way and I'm thankful!

Not all the news is bleak - although I can't share them here, there have been good things come out of the election. When I read this later - if it's much later - I probably won't remember what I'm talking about since I feel I can't be specific here! But I remain, in my basic nature, an optimist, and there have been a couple silver linings already. And I'll be looking for more.

I cried today. I knew I would sooner or later. Earlier in this blog, I shared that I'd cried while talking to my parents at their gravesite a month or so ago. I sure am missing them again today, but mostly I cried over the impending loss of my other family - my staff.

I am grateful that I have a supportive wife and kids and that we're all healthy and happy and that while my job is a big, big part of my life and my family's life, we'll move beyond this and don't have those even bigger life issues (health, etc.) to deal with right now. I certainly am prayerful that God keeps us all healthy and together for a long, long time to come.

Thank you for reading and being interested. This blog was created by me to record my feelings during the election process, and I don't know how much longer I'll maintain it. But I won't close it out just yet - maybe I'll try to "name names" and list all the people who have been so supportive and helpful. There've been so many - and these past couple of days, so many calls and e-mails of support and prayers.

This is overwhelming on so many levels.